Lynnette Xiangling Li 李香玲 (She/They) is a doctoral student at the University of Denver – ILIFF School of Theology’s joint Ph.D. program. Lynnette is currently a Louisville Institute doctoral fellow. For the past six years, they have been involved with theological consultations, research, and program development with the Council for World Mission as well as the World Council of Churches. Their denominational involvement includes serving on the General Board of the General Assembly of the Christian Church (Disciples of Christ), the Disciples of Christ Historical Society, and participating in the youth programming team for the General Assemblies of 2013 and 2015.
What is your research about? What led you to your research topic?
I think a whole lot about power. I credit that to postcolonial, feminist, and liberation theologies that I have been immersed in over the years. I often think of how power is used within a system, how it expresses itself in formal and informal ways, and how it disciplines and domesticates people.
Prior to seminary, I was involved in a variety of research projects, most of which pertained to environmental mitigation and hazardous material. During graduate school, my thesis research explored the relationship between lead in groundwater and end of school tests assessments using geospatial analysis. I had initially planned to work on a couple of counties in the state of Missouri. My adviser challenged me to apply the research to all 114 counties in Missouri. This led me to think beyond the numbers, but probe deeply into the intersections of systemic oppression of poverty, environmental racism, and the challenges to create life-flourishing communities. Lives are drastically altered as a result of environmental degradation.
More recently, I find myself drawn to the complexities of breathing. One might think that breathing comes naturally. Yes, it does. But at the same time, there’s so much involved in breathing. Human beings, plant and aquatic life and non-human beings – they breathe. The injustice around breathing often goes unnoticed. There are powers behind breathing justly that I’d like to explore further in my dissertation.
How are you identifying your calling?
The vocational calling that I have avoided for a long time is that of a theological educator. During seminary, my professor called me to their office after I submitted my first assignment for the course. With trepidation I went met them only for them to ask me, “LX, have you considered doing a Ph.D.?” My response was, “which part of broke do you not know?” Yes, that was an audacious response. I was speaking from my financial lack which hindered me from imagining myself in a Ph.D. program. That is what scarcity does – it limits one’s vision from seeing beyond the lack.
After seminary, I spent six years working for an ecumenical organization that gave me the opportunities to be involved in global theological consultations, lead bible studies, and teach. As a result, I met different theologians, scholars, pastors, and lay church leaders. Many of whom nudged me to consider working on a Ph.D. What did they see in me? I don’t know. I guess I should have asked. This, however, was when my avoidance of the calling became a gradual embrace of a sacred and solemn vocation.
Then again, pursuing a doctoral degree isn’t just about earning the degree. It is about embracing the vocation as a theological educator, which requires significant preparation and wrestling with the power that comes with the vocation. This is a vocational call that involves a pastoral aspect to mutually influence, minister, counsel, and nurture. It is also a vocational call to be intellectually reflexive, and inquisitive towards the issues that questions our practices of faith and ethics in praxis. In all that, I need to wrestle with the power that is conferred in these positions and places.
What have you learned from your leadership experiences?
In different settings of leadership, the importance of listening emerges as important. Deep empathetic listening that is. It matters how and what happens when we attend to listen. There’s a measure of humility when it comes to listening. Listen to the spoken and unspoken words. Listen to both the poetry and prose. Listen deeply to how people share of themselves. Listen to what motivates and matters to them. Listen to where joy emerges, and laughter resonates. Listen to what’s bruised, aching, and healing. Listen to the silences as well - for it might hide shame, guilt, or anger.
In churches and schools, I was taught to stay still and keep silent. And if I were to speak, it was to recite what’s been memorized. Essentially what was heard was often a scripted performance of mimicry. That’s why I welcome a plurality of voices. Perhaps this is to counter the hegemonic culture that I was brought up in.
I am still learning to listen because there is courage when a voice emerges. Whether it’s a voice of dissent, or a voice to reveal the underworking of empire. These voices should not be dismissed or disregarded as insubordinate. For there might be a kernel of truth spoken in such voices.
What has your experience been with PANAAWTM?
In 2012, I after reading Dr. Kwok Pui-Lan’s blog, I felt compelled to reach out to her. She not only responded to my e-mail but connected me with different resources including PANAAWTM. Later in 2019, I reached out to her as I began to seriously discern applying to Ph.D. programs. Again, Dr. Kwok responded generously offering connections and resources. In 2021, through correspondence with Dr. Jin Young Choi, I learned of PANAAWTM’s mentoring sessions led by Professors Jin Young Choi, Boyung Lee, Grace Kao, Nami Kim, and Su Yon Park. I was grateful to be able to join their sessions. I deeply appreciate their candid advise to craft a Ph.D. application that reflected my voice, research interests, and intent for doctoral studies. Needless to say, PANAAWTM has contributed to me being in a Ph.D. program.
My first PANAAWTM conference was in 2022. This was a conference held virtually during the pandemic. It was a great experience to connect with PANAAWTM siblings especially those who are from Southeast Asia, where I am from. In 2024, as part of the Carpenter grant secured by PANAAWTM leadership, I was able to be part of the regional gatherings coordinated by doctoral student, Eunjin Jeon. These gatherings offered moments for deep reflection, community building, and peer support. We were joined by Rev. Dr. Boyung Lee, and Dr. Nami Kim. They offered us both pastoral and practical wisdom on how to hone our voice and strengthen our writing abilities.
What brings you hope and joy?
I find joy in the simplest of things. Such as, writing with a fountain pen and watching its ink dry. Or typing a letter with a manual typewriter. It’s the simple things that fascinates and brings joy to me.
When it comes to hope, that’s a different story. I have mixed feelings about being hopeful.
Some might assume that my dissertation adviser’s book, Embracing Hopelessness, has influenced me. It’s not. I have been a relief worker in places such as Pulau Nias, Indonesia, in the aftermath of the 2004 Boxing Day tsunami. I have seen the destruction of sea walls that were built to prevent the waves from crashing upon the dwellings for those living in low-laying islands such as Kiribati. Then there were moments in my life when I experienced utter hopelessness. I’ve learned to acknowledge hopelessness and the systems that contribute to its existence. That’s why I find a deep sense of joy when people choose to come together to build communities of solidarity. This includes communities such as PANAAWTM.
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